Infinitesimal Beauty: The Veil is Rising

The veil is rising 

Easing off 
my fear strained face,
it catches 
on crystalized tears,
pulling away 
I bath in liberty

The first airless void
stills all movement,
abandon was never 
nameless, faceless 

No longer condemned 
sliding towards the light,
I take in my first breath 
free of regret and torment 

In the ensuing minutes
infinitesimal beauty
takes my breath again 
as I exhale my first sigh...

By Jane Eggins

It took me awhile to come to terms with this, to put it all together.   

The Ice Queen and the Martyr 
We sacrifice ALL for our Ice Queens : 
The dawn of the new Japanese ( light a candle)
Resting my nose on the bathroom door hinges and taking in a nose flaring  sniff, I follow a long and  aromatic trail of her shit.  
It's pathetic guys just to crawl up to say to her “ I looove you!”  is enough to turn her stomach while sending her ego through the roof, for I worshipped her!   
For they hate the very nature of love, and all that it represents.   Love is a dagger that pierces their armour.  They spend years perfecting ways to protect themselves against love.   Perfecting ways to use your love against you, to control you to destroy you.  To crucify you.  For we are not worthy; our egos bruised and alter egos  ripped to shreds.  Broken in pieces is what’s left in the Ice Queens wake of terror.   At times the feeling is downright emasculating; a visceral castration  where all that’s left are a pair of dangling and withered balls between the legs - knees still  quivering.   
The icy queen is heartless and boundless.   She is unrestrained and unbounded from social norms and other social conventions.   For her, social conformity is a weakness.   She is the embodiment of self.
confidence.  She is the cerebral narcissist, the very angel of death in the flesh.  The goddess of damnation.  Murderess of the soul.   A master manipulator and con-artist.  She is the one that is loved, and loved deeply!
The Ice Queen is the perfect woman.  She is well-educated; well-spoken, and very cultured.   She has worldly and academic knowledge.   She makes the best wife candidate.  She is skilled in all the arts of seduction and deception.   God in flesh form.  An answer to all of our prayers.  A waiting to exhale moment.   The be all and end all.  Only in the beginning.
It all started with my ex. Alcoholic Japanese female velodrome  athlete with her massive and thick smooth legs and flawless skin standing over me, seemingly towering over me - creased epicanthic folds in her eyes.   
She's Stripped down to her panties and beating me and berating me over one grain of rice I let drop to the floor.  Get down on the ground!  Eat that rice off the floor.  Look up at me.  Epicanthic folds with black eyes piercing through them and deep into my soul. Sickly and hauntingly beautiful her flawless face is when she is enraged.  Creamy white skin with pulsating veins in the neck.   I can see her heart palpitating  through her sweat soaked jersey.  Cheek bones red and puffy.   I am in heaven.  The smell of  hot spit and vaginal musk permeating through the air and into my nostrils, slight tumescence in my penis; a reaction to fear and love.  Even her pubic hairs are long and fine, like woven silk protruding from the edges of her panties; some lain across her beautiful hamstrings still wet from the days ride.    I still collect them in hopes of weaving a kimono made of 100%  of her silky pubic hair.   A miracle of God, actually.   It is true.  Women from Niigata have long silky pubic hair - trust me.  Maybe make a silk pubic noose to hang myself from them.
I used to astral project into her through deep meditation.   All in hopes of tapping into her inner pussy, while dangling from her heart chakra.    The Cerebral Narcissist is very difficult to mentally hack, this is because they have spent years learning how to create firewalls in their minds.   Blocks that conceal their truest of self.   They use you for supply, and use your love against you.   The narcissist ice queen is disconnected from her pussy.  Her vagina serves as a tool used to deceive and manipulate.  To control and abuse.   Often times, actually most times, cerebral narcissist prefer masturbation to actual sex.    Actual sex requires reciprocity whereas masturbation you satisfy yourself, ten minutes tops.     Once they have secured their supply they lose complete interest in sex, then devote all of their time and energy to intellectual pursuits.  My ice bitch achieved  her Master’s before 25 years of age from a prestigious English speaking University overseas.   A research fellow.   She came to me in the form of an angel, more beautiful than Lucifer before the fall.
The Age of Aquarius is here.  Be forewarned my brothers.  You are warned.   The new dawn of mentally aware Japanese women are among us.   They are highly educated and purposed in life.   Totally void of love.  They seek to use and discard only to repeat the cycle again.  

Escaping back to my quiet place, in the womb of my desire.  A Jukujo saved me from destruction.  

Musical Score:  Sketches of the Dream


Yahiko Shrine 弥彦神社

         "The enshrined god who rules over Ya-hi-ko is called Ameno-Kaguyama-no-Mikoto (天香山命)"  

This particular shrine is designated as an " Ichinomiya" shrine, in other words, a high ranking shinto shrine within its province.   Yahiko is one of the highest ranking "ichinomiya" in  Niigata Prefecture.  Don't get it confused with modern ranking systems like with "Jingu"  or the great imperial shrines in the long list of "Kanpei-Taisha."  Just know that this shrine is revered amongst the locals in this area.  The whole area surrounding this shrine is a powerspot, which means there's a divine aura of spiritual energy here.   

The beauty of Yahiko Shrine is that it is not painted read and gold like many shrines in the Kansai area.  This is the original form of an authentic Japanese Shrine - all wood.   Adding paint was more vanity and to appeal to royalty and  aristocrats.   

Even the offering box ( sasenbako) is in its original form from centuries ago.  The surrounding wooded area is comprised of thousands of keyaki trees or Zelkova Serrata, a grainy wood highly prized in Japan for making taiko drums and expensive furniture.   

In Shinto you put anywhere from 10 yen to 15 yen in the offering box.  Step back, bow twice at a 45 degree angle then clap your hands two times then pray in silence.  When finished bow once and leave.   

One of the neat aspects of visiting a shrine is that you see so many ordinary people worshipping there and communing with their gods.   In this photo there is a bridge, and it is called Bridge of the Gods, or Tamanohashi.   Gods crossover this bridge to you, but you are not allowed to crossover it.   There is a reverence still left in Japan, a deep spiritual connection here.  I can sense it in the water as it trickles over stones and ravines and how it flows through valleys and gorges.   
I can sense it in the soft grassy patches of brush.  I can sense it in the sweet scented wind whipped cherry blossom trees dotted along the countryside.  

The whole of Japan is imbued with the essence of Shinto.  The wabi-sabi, the cranes that fly into the sky carrying the whispers of a thousand generations on its wings.

Leaving the shrine I headed about 3 km on foot southbound on a winding road.   I enjoy my walks in the countryside.   Whenever I am up this way I like to stop through and take a dip in a nice onsen to refresh and collect my thoughts.

I didn't realise how far the onsen was on foot, so I hitched a ride with a stranger and he dropped me off here at an onsen called "Sakura-no-Yu."   For those who have not been to one of these places onsen water comes in a variety of different mineral compositions.  This particular onsen has a mild and gentle sulphur smell to it.   Imagine rotten eggs smell and that'll give you some idea of what a sulphur spring smells like. PH is at around 9.70.  For those of you not familiar with this benefit the high ph will act as an emollient to the skin making it softer and smoother.   Onsen between 9 and 10 are premium hot springs that are more for beauty than therapy.   If you come at the right time you can see a row of cherry blossom trees in the back garden from the bath!  You can really feel Niigata.   Feeling blessed from prayers at the shrine and a soaking of the joints I headed back into town for some revelry.

For those that have followed my blog know what I love and what I do best.  I eat good Japanese food, drink premium sake, and love the local Jukujo.  Only this one is a young Jukujo.    She's drinking Kubota and is teaching me the ancient secrets.....


Shiboritate: Young Freshly Pressed Sake

On a personal note, whenever I visit a sake place I aways go for Shiboritate. 
This is the freshly made very young sake that has a little lees leftover in the final product.  Some are a little gassy, too.  I love the fresh fruity notes I get on the nose, and the light delicate flavors on the palate.  Sometimes you can pick up hints of cotton candy or even a little pino colada if you have keen a  sense of taste.   

Youth Gone Wild

I love the youthfulness at play in Japanese sake... Like with how  the little nervous goose bumps before you know you're about to do something wrong.  Shiboritate is sake that is refined, yet brash and audacious.  Adventurous.  Sexually irresponsible.  Bold and full of potential.  Limitless.  Boundless.  Reckless and dangerous.  Brash.  And most of all, saucy!  Just like I love saucy foods and saucy languages.  Saucy AV actresses that have an unusual swagger about them.  

When Koji is added to the yeast starter and the moromi mash, it helps convert the rice starch into glucose.   Like the guy  representing the koji and the girl representing her yeast(y) goodness and the moromi mash being the result of  the combination of the two - no pun intended.   Releasing her womanly sweetness, the very nectars of life itself;  liquid bliss floweth.  In the end, it is all about chemistry.

The sweetness in the white radish (daikon), is simply divine and it compliments most Japanese sake,  especially winter white radishes that retain more sugars than standard radishes.  For me, a few days of being left in soupy broth enhances the flavors of that succulent white daikon.   It fills the whole mouth on every bite.   

This hanami season, remember, simple is best.


Entry for Winter....Winter Burial: The 雪中貯蔵 [Secchu - chozou]

Winter preserves beauty, like a timeless stasis of the ice ages  along the Tachidake plains of Hokkaido; the whistling swan sang.    I can sense the birth of spring on the twigs of trees even now, as the last frost of snowy patches fall to the ground.    This year, I was back up in one of my top places in Japan, not Hokkaido, but in Kawabata's Snow Country, Niigata, and on a timely and auspicious occasion!  The burial of sake.   The 雪中貯蔵 The Secchu-chozou way!  

My mission this time around was to bury several thousand bottles of Japanese sake under several tons of snow and ice.    The timing was essential for a few reasons:  Man power, machines, temps, weather, and logistics.  This time of year, the winter was unusually warm with the occasional drop in temps gave us scattered snowfalls through-out the mountain ranges.   When we arrived on the 20th of February a cold front moved in the night before and gave us heaps of snow, so the window of opportunity was open for us to get all three warehouses done.    8 hours and some very intensive work was underway and with three teams pushing, burying, and packing snow as quickly as possible. 

Our tractor drivers were highly proficient in transporting snow to the warehouses, and along with our snowplows were able to pump several hundred pounds of snow per minute directly in the storage spaces.   Us, the shovelers, were tasked with packing the snow in and making sure the hard to reach places were properly filled.   Under snow you put only the premium stuff  i.e...Junmai Ginjo, Ginjo-shus.     

I get a sense that burying anything is symbolic to death, but in Japan the burial could represent the coming of newness.   In this part of northern Japan, and like other places, the locals bury under snow, sake, vegetables, meats, and even soy sauces of varying kinds in what is called "yukimuro"  which is a type of snow house for storage.   Some vegetable and sake are buried directly under snow whereas perishable items like meats and other produce are stored in warehouses that are covered in snow.    

Nihonshu / sake is normally not stored under snow at all, actually.   It is usually bottled then refrigerated or shipped out around the world.   However, there are exceptions here.   Some breweries will store their sake for about 6 months under snow for a number of reasons.  First, there is regionality.  Since it snows six or more months out of the year, snow is useful for cooling things, since there's plenty of it.   Next, snow maintains a constant temperature through-out the winter months, and even longer depending on where you live.  Snow contains high moisture  that is  good for sake and food overall.   Snow does not emit  EMF ( Electro-magnetic Field), and is therefore good for amino acids in sake; keeps it constant and stable.   For snow reserved foods the flavor of fruits and vegetables are milder and sweeter, and are fresher.     

Refrigerators, like all household electrical appliances,  emit harmful EMF which over time can have an affect on amino acids, even in the human brain!  This is also not good for regional artisan sake, especially if you are trying to achieve the  end-product of the type of flavors you hope to attain after 6 months.    Do you ever count how many times you open your refrigerator door a day?  And how much temperature is effected?  Upwards to 5 degrees or more.   This constant change in temperature effects sake if you're constantly opening and closing your fridge.   Plus, modern refrigeration makes the environment inside where you store your food and sake dry.  This is not to say  that sake that is  NOT snow-cooled is bad, on the contrary, it isn't effected that much and sake can still have  exceptional qualities, but snow-cooled sake is a type of regional  choice whereby the brewer wants to create a lighter, tighter, and much rounder flavor profile in the sake that's unique to the prefecture.      Snow is also more  environmentally friendly compared to EMF pollutants emitted by refrigerators.   

In the photo below, I and several drinking buddies lodged at a lovely matron's house for the night for free.  Did I say free?.  There we were graced by this delicious spread of local specialties all hand made by my kind of arm candy.  Those who read my blog know what I mean.    Hot nabe and warm kotatsu in the winter is epic!   And sake taken directly from a moromi tank to boot.   We drank and ate well that night.

( "There is a sake brewery on Sado Island, Niigata Japan which also stores its sake in snow, but in addition they also play classical music in the cold storage vault - Vivaldi's Four Seasons.   This is done to influence amino acid motility, and this also makes sake softer and more flavorsome").

After all the handwork was done we headed over to "Yukidaruma" onsen for some respite while taking in a gorgeous snow scene from the edge.   (sigh^^) Mission accomplished.


Expat Lives' Matter: What is next for the hordes of foreigners - 2016

Long Term in Japan...?   Now What....?

So you've been here for awhile and you are wondering what's next for you....   Maybe you've grown to love the country, or maybe the country has grown on you and you've grown comfortable with life here, but the sweet love stage has faded...?   Maybe Japan  holds no charm for you anymore, or never has for that matter....  When is it time to go back home...?   Hmmm...

The next step would be to sit down and have a look at your career prospects at home and in Japan.  Then ask yourself where you  want to be for the rest of your life.   Age and taxation is inevitable, so no matter where you live you cannot escape that.  You always owe somebody somewhere and that's just the way it is, even after you pay, you still owe...  Retirement is the scariest thought for me and the second scariest would be me being in a sexless relationship / marriage.   I could cheat with another man's wife, though.  The level of adultery in Japan is appalling.   Or, like the silent majority here who have been duped into a sexless marriage after having children, and then having kids involved and used as either pawns or referees for mom and dad is a sad state of affairs.    Retirement, even with enough money is still scary, but you live on and hope for the best.     Find somebody you can love in this life sounds more interesting for me. 

I could be cold, lonely, and old anywhere in the world.   I can be jobless and without hope anywhere in the world.  Having family sounds good if you can live with once a year visits when you've grown old.   Try visiting a nursing home sometimes and then you can get a much better perspective on family and retirement life.   We all know grandma and grandpa are just wallets and an inheritance for what they leave behind after they die.   Fascinating how the old can boast so arrogantly in the elevator that their loved ones are coming over for Christmas.  And looking at you like " yeah, look at me!"   Their 30 minutes of glory will be over soon, and they will be left there lonely like you in that cold ward all alone.   We are all only as good as are worth to others!  Never forget that.  If you have nothing to offer your kids, they have no love to return to you.    And this also depends on how much you sacrificed for them, and them watching you make that sacrifice, then things may turn out differently.

The charm still holds for me and the memories have never faded.   Maybe it's the clarity I get when I am sitting mother-naked in an outdoor bath in the middle of a snowy winter  scene on a hilly plain while overlooking a small village dotted with hundreds of tiny little thatched roof farm houses.    Hot, naked, cold, and soaking away the soreness of life's vicissitudes.    It's charms like these that never tire me.   I can still smell the minerals in the water permeate through the thick and steamy mist of that outdoor bath.   There's a sake bottle buried in the snow next to the bath somewhere,  and the small cup resting on top of that bottle upside down.  I gotta stand up in the cold and dig the bottle out of the snow then ease my way back into that hot mineral rich water.   I wonder if I can go back home to find such a place....   In all of California's 60 plus hot spring baths, only some may be considered worthy, like the ones in Yosemite, but still pale in comparison to the richness and beauty of a Japanese hot spa in the hinterlands of Honshu.    

Love is another reason many stay and come to Japan.   Having kids is the single biggest reason/excuse for staying here, too.     Love is universal, so it can be had anywhere, and so can the excuse for having children.   You don't need Japan for that.   I can meet and love Japanese women in other countries, don't need Japan for that.   Many of my greatest loves were met and consummated outside of Japan.   Living in Japan with a Japanese lover just adds to the charm of being here.    I do not need to stay in Japan for love.    But, I do find it incredibly seductive and elegant when I am with a lovelorn and busty Japanese beauty at a shrine where I can pick up the aroma of  myrrh while gazing at the embers burn from the alter's incense sticks.   Even the murmurs from the shinto priest's invocation are eerily beautiful for some reason.  The invocation of the gods.   If the Japanese matron loves the rice brew, I can run my eyes down the curvilinear angles of her smooth and flawless thighs as I follow that one small drop of liquid bliss down the creases of her legs, and there where it settles in the bush....   I do not know if I could duplicate this type of apotheosis in America.  This is another example of a charm that never gets old, but ages well...?

Why Japan...?   Hmmm...  For me, I was always drawn to China and southeast asia, Japan was not much of an interest for me in the beginning.   At least until I had my cherry popped by a Japanese matron who took me to heights unknown to man.    I could no longer look at my now ex-wife the same again.   I was in a way handed Japan on a silver platter and forced to gleefully partake in its bounty.   Had the matron been German, I would be living in Germany now and singing the praises of the Republic.   You get the point.   It is really about how people influence you, and it has always been that way.  True.  You can make your own destiny, but you need to be influenced.    Japan is also one of the safest and secured countries on the planet, and that cannot really be argued.   And I am sure there are many other reasons why people choose Japan.

Taxation....You'll be paying this no matter where you live in the world.   You will always owe whether you stay in Japan or America.  Grow up and face the music.

People, well they suck no matter where you live in the world.   The person you need to work on the most  is yourself.  Love yourself then all the answers of life will come to you.   Assholes abound in every shade, skin-color, language, religion, ethnicity, and persuasion.    You can live anywhere in the world and be vexed by people, and Japan is no exception.   It's most often the language barrier that shields us from half of the bullshit and lies they spew.   Ignorance helps whereas when you know and understand their bullshit it sticks to and stains the soul.   Only difference is that in America Americans tell you straightly what they think of you.   And I sort of like it that way...for some reason.  

Retirement, there is and will never be enough money to retire no matter where you live in the world, unless you've been actively investing in some form of retirement since you were in your 20s.  You do not have to agree with me.  Where you choose to grow roots is a matter of personal choice and retirement is more myth than reality.  Sure, there is a mandatory retirement age in many countries, Japan included, but that does not mean you cannot continue working.  Why would you want to retire in this economy anyway?   

Returning home.   The proposition of returning home wouldn't seem so bad if some of my friends were still living in the State of California.   Unfortunately, all of them have moved on to places like Florida, New York, Oregon, even Texas, so if I go back then...well....Aah...wait.  I do have two or three old friends I could get back in touch with.....But, no car and they live in Riverside.   You need a car no matter where you go in California and my license has expired.   Maybe I can squeeze in a few ball games or even check out  a few movies.  Eat a dozen or so burgers and dogs in a week.  Hang out over at the beach.  Hit on some Latinas.  Go to a few concerts, and maybe even a few clubs.    Chase some racist jungle fever plagued  trailer bait white trash - which I like in a perverted  sort of way.    Harass some black a$$ in Culver City.   Long Beach is okay, but....I think Redondo Beach is better.     Still, do I need to return just because of these things?    Not including the gray areas in my resume,  or trying to explain why I had to live over in Asia for so long in front of the interviewer who's my junior  is headache enough, and reason for me to remain in Japan.    I can have my cake and eat it too, right here in Japan.  I can have the best of both worlds here :  Lovelorn white girls, thrown in the mix along with a  few Europeans who escaped from "Eurabia!"   Or, the white American girls who escaped from Mexifornia...Take your pick..   If I want to hang out with the niggas I have the Navy base and a few other outposts where we can play basketball and brag about our bitches and cars.   Enough to make me want to throw up actually.   I have no interest in their topics anymore.   If the subject matter isn't about green tea and onsens, or Jukujo, we have nothing in common.   I have been totally uprooted.    Nigga pass revoked!   

Family and Friends in Japan....

The concept of friendship has different meanings in different parts of the world.   I value good honesty and open communication, something all Japanese lack.   Really, sometimes, generalizations do apply here in Japan and this is one example, among many, and I do not expect you to agree with that.   All Japanese value shallow topics even with close friends.    Subjects related to sex, money, and love are beyond the scope of dialog here.  Japanese are too weak at heart to handle such topics.   The idea of marriage is also misunderstood.   The utopic marriage some expats claim they have with a Japanese person simply does not exist for the majority of those expats in toxic relationships and marriages to Japanese nationals.   The concept of room share is a far better proposition for all Japanese rather than a marriage based on trust, love, and monogamy.  Why not sleep in separate beds....as many do.   Do not ask, and do not tell is a far better proposition then telling the truth.    Withholding information and dumbing down truth is another thing all Japanese are very good at, and which allows for a functional relationship.   Secrets are perfectly acceptable in all Japanese marriages and relationships.   Japanese lie too easily and naturally, it can be considered a cultural feature.    Where I love and embrace the truth, they hide from it.    Where I love honesty and value ethics, they loathe it.  Despise it.   Where I value common sense, they look at it like it's an abnormality.     If I drink one sip of sake, they brand me a "Japanese."    If I cannot drink not one sip of sake " they blame it on my race and nationality, like I am inferior and lack the sophistication to understand the national beverage.    If I like sake more than they do, then they brand me as "crazy or a an alcoholic"     Friendships are created when you get drunk and quickly fall apart when sober.   Where I see emperor appreciation, they see it as weird.    Like they'd rather be waving American flags, like it's their country.    I guess if I write like this, then maybe I have been here too long, but again, if I don't write it then who will?    

So, what's next for you...?   


What's next for Japan?

The country I have come to love, and not so much for it's people, but more for its bounty and Jukujo, is going through an immense transformation.   For the first time since the 70s, Japanese are questioning their place in the world.    The new generation is not comfortable with being labeled as just " Japanese."   They want to be world citizens, and a part of the international community.    They decried the secrecy laws passed by The Abe Cabinet, but those of us who are considered the geniuses of Japan know it was time.   This was the single most significance piece of legislation passed since Nakasone's time in office, and much needed.   Hopefully, this will protect Japan's image from over zealous journalist who are quick to bash their own country and tarnishing its legacy.    

What is next for expats who wish to continue  living in Japan...?

Expats and other long term residence who enjoy Japan will enjoy some of the opportunities that are available to be had whether that be starting a business, or learning the native language.  Travel and leisure are great here, too.   You can make a life for yourself here, but it's not for everyone.  Acquiring work  requires having good connections and a stroke of luck to be honest.    In other words, you need to be in the right place at the right time and seize every opportunity that comes your way.   Though the ESL industry is flooded with proficient English speakers, it does not make up for the lack of native English speakers that rarely stay passed the five year mark.   The industry has been undergoing a complete change to be quite honest.   It's not uncommon to see and hear " **manglish** "  being taught in the classroom.   If you were born and or educated in an English speaking country for at least 12 years you were considered a native English speaker.  Now, times have changed, and as long as you can speak the language proficiently you can now land a job in an language school.   So yes, there are opportunities to be had here. 

** A mixture of various English pronunciations from different languages**

Japan is home to over 8 million gods and the longest unbroken royal lineage in the world!   The culture is still very much intact and has not been tarnished and or eradicated by the spread of Christianity.   The continuity of tradition is still very much alive and well, but with a widening generation gap; very few young Japanese people have little to no interest in old outdated concepts and notion of the Japanese mindset, the foundation of Japan.   But we don't need to go there....because I think you know this already.   It is no longer uncommon for some foreigner to know more than many native Japanese about their own cultural pastimes.

Japan still adopts the ways of race categorizing, like they did in ancient Rome.   A Roman is born a Roman through direct bloodline.   Same as in Japan, you can only be born a Japanese if your heritage goes back centuries to the beginning, and that is how the majority of Japanese see it regardless if you are of mixed heritage, so this part has not changed even with the young generation.   

The prospects for a future in Japan are bright, but the cultural integrity of the native host country are bleak.  I would say that things are improving diplomatically but  we will see where that goes.   If you want to come here, then now is the best time.   


Follow by Email