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In Hot Water!

Sitting in a hot bath is always a nice experience, but it’s even nicer when it’s shared with the opposite sex.  For me, though, I rarely invite anybody to join me in a hot tub simply because I don’t like to talk the experience away, like most people do.  Most times just sitting in silence is good enough and it’s even better when you are sitting in silence in a nice open air hot tub on a Monday morning when most people are out to work.  
On this occasion though, I decided to accept an invitation by an awesome looking jukujo named Ms. Isogo( not her real name).  She was 178cm tall; 46;single;and no kids.  She had unevenly proportioned creamy mochi colored legs that were long with over developed calf muscles that accentuated her black pumps and knee high silk skirt.  Her hamstrings weren’t as developed as I’d have liked, but still all in all she had a wonderful pair of legs and a nice clean wrinkle free face and an excellent waist line.

I met her on the Keihin Tohoku line bound for Isogo.  The last stop.  She was on her way home from shopping.  I approached her feeling extra confident that evening because I was on my way to meet some guys for an evening out on the town.  I’d figure I’d oil the wheels of social interaction early that night by trying to get her number.  No corny ice breakers were required this time just a normal ‘hello’ ‘how are you today.’   I was immediately drawn to her long silky smooth looking black hair as it lay there draped across her left shoulder.

We got off the train and walked for what seemed like an eternity.  She actually allowed me to walk her to the front door of her condo!?  It was 9pm.  We exchanged phone numbers and from that day we gradually developed a friendship  which eventually lead to a passionate relationship – about a week later.
The company she works for offered free monthly passes to an onsen in Tokyo, and since I had a car and no where to go she invited me. 
Sitting in the same Jacuzzi across from us there was a father and son gazing over us wondering what the relationship was between me and Ms. Isogo and wondering  why she was massaging my foot and then running her hair across and in between my toes. I think the father was a little taken aback by this,and wondered a bit rather it was appropriate or not for a Japanese woman her age and caliber to be doing this to a foreigner in a public bath house.  The son was also visibly curious because I assume his father never received such treatment at home or elsewhere for that matter.  The father assumed that I would be visiting this kind of place with a club junky I pulled out of a bar somewhere.  Instead I was with someone who looked like somebody's wife!   Too clean and natural looking to be here with a portly gaijin.  It just didn’t register nor make sense. 

Of course here in Japan  physical contact is frowned upon.  Then again how do you know something's being frowned upon when everybody's smiling at you and nodding their heads at everything you do seemingly obsequiously like they want to coy up to you and befriend you and say cool things to you when in fact all they want to do is find some fault or imperfection so they can tell their friends about it.  
You just  assume that what you are doing is either wrong or just pretend that you don't care and shrug off the staring eyes and go on about your business .

The fact is is that jukujo are the crème de la crème of Japanese women in my opinion.  Not selfish and fickle like their younger counterparts who have extremely low emotional quotients!  But no…many Japanese men would actually overlook these demerits and  go as low as to even prostitute their own women in order to fulfill his own sexual desires because I assume a prepubescent girl is better than an older girl because she  massages his ego better…. 

Most times if I’m in public places I get little to few stares when I’m with someone who’s young.  I’ve dated women who dress like Mary J. Blige from the top down and still very little stares.  I assume it’s because it makes sense.  She loves American culture so of course she dresses the part and gets an American boyfriend.   Makes sense.  But one who in her early 40s who’s dressed down in polyester pants and who wears expensive silk scarves and velvet shirts….this is rare.   I have had many incredibly strange experiences being with this class of woman in public.  

Sometimes sitting in hot water can  land you in hot water if you are not mentally prepared for stares and constant bullshit.   Seeking out the right things and thinking the ‘right way’ is not required in Japan.  There is no right thinking because people simply don’t think, they merely exist in order to keep and maintain a semblance of  order that’s teetering on the brink of collapse.


  1. You are so right! My husband and i have a very comfortable relationship and no matter where we go we hold hands and treat each other with a gentleness that in Japan is especially rare. You won't believe the stares we get (or maybe you will) even if we hold hands on the train in Japan. It's like we are having sex instead of just holding each others hand! Even in my husbands house, when i sat down next to my husband on the lounge in a kind of cuddle pose, his parents couldn't stop commenting on the fact, such affection we were showing each other, and they were shocked.

    It's not unusual in Australia to see people kissing and fondling on the street, and then everyone looks away, but in Japan being stared at for such an innocent gesture with my husband is unnerving. I'm not sure if it's the fact that i'm a gaijin, or because of the act itself, or both.
    I always wonder that if we were both japanese would they be staring like that?

    I also found it hard being in tokyo in tsuyu, because all the girls were wearing jumpers (in 100% humidity) and i wore a singlet that is totally acceptable in Australia, where my bra strap was visible under the thin straps of the singlet, but in Japan it seems that this is like wearing a g-string down the middle of main street! I had guys leering at me everywhere i went, and women giving me sour looks. Just for a bra strap!

    I'm really happy to read your comments, and i can say i'm really glad you had a great time with Ms Isogo, i can only assume the man in the bath was wishing he was having a great time like that with his wife, but we all know alot of those Japanese couple's marriages have dried up long ago.

    I really enjoy reading your different perspectives on Japan!

  2. Hi Kelly!

    Thanks for your comments. I totally get where you are coming from. It's hard to just be natural here. You and your husband have something special going on. Cherish it. Thanks again.



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