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Christmas Cakes & Cougars

I have a devil who lives in North or South Carolina, Columbus Ohio,  Clemson University, somewhere who once commented that his girlfriend at the time, now wife, didn’t like to take it in the face. OK. So fair enough. I don’t blame her for not wanting his spunkiness all over her caked up face, then again, what’s wrong with a little spunkiness…?



It all started in class one day over a discussion about Tiger Woods’ infidelity. A certain news article mentioned that day of a term referring to women over forty. The term is called “ cougar,” and in the dictionary a cougar is referred to as a mountain lion that preys on young meat, namely rabbit. The cougar is a fairly small and agile creature that has a very keen sense of smell and very quick; I had to explain this a bit to a group of students in order to give them a sense of what was happening with Tiger Woods according to media reports.


Now for the record, I think it’s highly unfair for Mr. Woods to accept 100% of the blame – it takes two to tango. I’m sure none of his busty bunk mates lost any endorsements over their willful sexticipation! These women knew he was married from the start, and I’m sure some of them were involved in other relationships too at the time.



(“Since the 70s, when American women started asserted their rights the legal system has become so unfair and partial when it comes to legal issues regarding male and females - women always get the favorable ruling. ”)



At any rate, the term cougar has an opposite meaning that refers to Japanese girls under 25 who over emphasize the importance of cosmetic beauty. The term is called “Christmas cake face” because they love to pack the make-up on day after day in layer after layer of chicken grease!  They hate getting kissed or touched by anybody, not just the obvious pervs, not even dad gets a kiss! They can also be some of the most boring women to be around sometimes.



For me, there’s nothing like the natural clean face of a Japanese woman in the morning. The dimly sunlit room early in the dawn lit hours of the early morning, warm blankets and smooth skin, skin shipping. I guess this is why I’m drawn to the natural beauty of Tohoku women. Taut muscles wrapped in smooth creamy tofu like skin.



The Christmas cake vs. Cougar analogy is good to understand because it gives you a sense of what to look for in Japan and that there’s a fetish for everything here which makes this country a virtual paradise for hedonist. What is normal and socially acceptable behavior here in Japan may not be the same in other countries. If you like shallow and artificially based relationships where both man and woman go through the motions then the xmas cake type is the obvious choice. If you want somebody with a little more spontaneity, then the cougar types are the best. .



At any rate, I also had to explain what it is about Japanese girls that attract foreign men , and so knowing me, and my infatuation with the(cougar) Jukujo, and pairing Mr. Woods’ incident with older women, and then having to explain that to semi-fluent young adult English learners was very interesting indeed. A barrage of questions ensued after opening up this discussion. I was fielding questions like a White House press secretary.



Beauty for most young Japanese women has a lot to do with either cosmetic enhancements or drinking collagen. Very little has anything to do with exercise or healthy living. Everything about beauty is either drug or food induced here in Japan, or no food at all for many. Many young women here rarely ever mention the spa or hot spring as being a part of that beauty regiment. I think it’s because many of them are offended by the natural smell of a mineral hot spring and would rather fly to Korea to get a face pack and a mud bath instead. Most Korean and Chinese women would rather fly to Japan and enjoy a nice hot spring instead! Opposites…



(“If there was an over the counter medication called “Beauty” every Jgirls would be all over it in a heart beat. Pop a pill and that’s it. Or, rub this cream on your skin for 3 weeks and “Walla” beautiful, guaranteed results or your money back ”).



Cougars are more sensually appealing for me than Christmas cake types mainly because they have reached the point where they can start to accept who they are and how they look, nobody cares how they look anyways, it’s almost like they get dressed up in vain and become frustrated at the lack of attention they receive on a daily basis. It’s as if in order for them to settle down and be normal they have to be rejected based on their age and looks. The more curvy and sophisticated a Japanese woman looks the more intimidating she is to a weak Japanese man.



I fielded a question from a student about who I liked exactly, like a name of someone famous in Japan. Immediately I said “ Shibata Rie!” The group jeered me right there on the spot! “Asian beauty? Do you really think she’s beautiful?” a girl said to my right.  I said “no,” and I explained to her that her natural features and her complete lack of beauty is what attracts me to her. Her near flawless complexion and lankiness; a plain Jane type with strong Asiatic features – simple and clean looking.



There’s a term in Japanese a friend taught me called (せいそきれい or 清楚きれい/seiso.kirei) which means neat and clean looking woman. These types are literally becoming extinct nowadays as the modern Japanese woman begins to emerge on the scene taking her place in a traditionally all male dominated society. She’s throwing off all the old vestiges of a bygone era where women put a premium on inner beauty as well as exterior beauty through natural means.



Now we have gaudy make-up artist who smear on the grease commuting to work on the trains and other public spaces caring nothing about anybody or anything.  Dressing prim and proper is no longer considered stylish, but rather old and dated. It’s a real pity.



There is no proverbial answer for why foreign men prefer Japanese/Asian women. I assume it was the madam butterfly mystique during General McAuthors(sp?) rule that created this docile and easy to please submissive Japanese woman that we all know now to be completely false. So what’s this attraction…..?



Most Western women claim that men who have small penises prefer Asian women over Western women. I say, nothing could be further from the truth! I think men in general have a special place in their hearts for Asian women period regardless of penis size. The whole entire spectrum of the male species is attracted to Asian women in a general sense for a lot of different reasons, I believe.  My reasoning was the simple beauty model mentioned previously.


In America we used to have the Southern Bell types like Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith who used to carry themselves in a similar fashion before they became "Hollyfied" ( Hollywood Drunk) and then  Madonna came along twenty years later and changed everything!  Reinforcing more anti traditions.



The issue surrounding Mr. Woods’ cougar mistress, Theresa Rogers, is one of longevity. She was sexually involved with Tiger before and after he got married, making her the longest fling Mr. Woods has ever had. I don’t blame him either. Older women have a charm about them that make you not want to leave them. This part I can clearly sympathize with Mr. Woods.



In the end, when everything finally comes together we have the aged simple beauty that wins over the Christmas cake face in terms of overall desirability for me. Mr. Woods was just one example, I could probably give a dozen or so more examples of what men choose over vs. what’s perceived by mainstream society. Over the years I have met so many guys who have forsaken the beautiful little cup cake doll face, for the not so attractive, sometimes aged simple homebody types . I have witnessed these relationships stand the test of time many times.



Final note: This devil I mentioned previously at the beginning wouldn’t even exist had it not been for my benevolence and kindness. Had he never met the woman I introduced to him he probably would’ve blown his own brains out binging on a bottle of Jack Daniels - Daniel. Some people will never understand how the world works. This person will forever be in ‘my pocket’ until he squares his soul debt away with me. I will find him again.

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