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From the Desk of SofJ: My first Gokon-Omiai!

The word gokon comes from the Japanese words 'konpa' -  or get together for group members.  Some references state that compa (as opposed to kompa) comes from the English word, "companion".  Another expression would be "Omiai-Gokon" which is commonly used today.   Omiai is a more formal set up whereas gokon is more playful; groups often go out drinking.  

After six months of procrastinating I attended my first Japanese group dating party.  Normally, I prefer meeting girls on the fly, like when I'm on my way to somewhere.  Doing it that way has a higher fail ratio than if you were to join a get-together.   What to expect when attending an "omiai-gokon" is a group of  30 females to 30 males.  You have to look around for the type of "omiai" party you want to attend.  For example: Japanese women seeking foreigners for marriage.   Japanese women looking for Japanese men for marriage.   There are also age specific groups for singles looking for those in their 30s and 40s.  The group I searched for is for heavy women over 40.   The criterion  for participating in this event is that you are between the ages of 30 and 40, and overweight.  The group I avoid are  the Japanese women looking for foreign men because most often these types of women have dreamy I-want-to-go-to-America eyes.    My search was very specific:  Over 40; heavy; and a woman who wants to live in Japan.  

The two terms here is ぷに子 ( Puniko = chubby) and ぽっちゃり(pochari = heavy).  There are other less colorful expressions in Japanese used to describe someone who is fat.   There are many groups like this popping up.   Japanese men are showing less interest in young thin women, and are starting to open their eyes to more down to earth and well developed women.    I have never attended an East meets West party. I mean, I do frequent the wine parties but there you have the super thin types who are single mothers, and those who are seeking a security blanket.    Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I am no security blanket. 

I have been in the hunt for heavy and well-rounded Japanese women for years, and thanks to social media I found some.   I like my girls healthy and well-fed, and most of all, well grounded.   No longer the Christmas cake types with their dreamy eyes of having a better life overseas.    Of course I won't divulge this information to you, find your own party, there are plenty.  Having a modest command of Japanese is essential because most women in age specific groups simply do not speak any English.  

The number one rule when attending a Gokon-Omiai is to never be late.  This is where I failed on my first try.  This is because you only get two minutes to talk sell yourself to each female.   Another reason you need to be there on time is because you need time to fill-out your information card.   It's sort of like your resume that you hand to girls.   The more information you write down the better your chances at finding a connection.   The ultimate goal here is to get the phone number.   

The organizers will take a tally of numbers and match them up with your numbers; basically you write down the number of the girl you like, and then they are paired with the numbers each girl had chosen to match each individual according to taste and preferences.   This is done throughout the course of the event, about 3 times.  In the end, the organizers announce the perfect pairs, which is where I felt the organizer cheated me.    

I chose Yuki a busty 40 year old Aomori beauty with fair skin.   She was paired with an average looking Japanese salaryman.   When the event had ended they both walked out of the room together.   As the rest of us were shuffling our way towards the elevator I watched her walk away with her selected Japanese companion.   Just before they entered the elevator she ran back to me and exclaimed that she had chosen me!  But I had arrived late and so therefore my name wasn't entered the first time around on her list of choices.   Three chances.   Had I arrived on time she would have chosen me.    

I will try again.


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