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Infinitesimal Beauty: The Veil is Rising



The veil is rising 

Easing off 
my fear strained face,
it catches 
on crystalized tears,
pulling away 
I bath in liberty

The first airless void
stills all movement,
abandon was never 
nameless, faceless 

No longer condemned 
sliding towards the light,
I take in my first breath 
free of regret and torment 

In the ensuing minutes
infinitesimal beauty
takes my breath again 
as I exhale my first sigh...

By Jane Eggins



It took me awhile to come to terms with this, to put it all together.   


The Ice Queen and the Martyr 
We sacrifice ALL for our Ice Queens : 
The dawn of the new Japanese ( light a candle)
For they hate the very nature of love, and all that it represents.   Love is a dagger that pierces their armour.  They spend years perfecting ways to protect themselves against love.   Perfecting ways to use your love against you, to control you to destroy you.  To crucify you.  For we are not worthy; our egos bruised and alter egos  ripped to shreds.  Broken in pieces is what’s left in the Ice Queens wake of terror.   At times the feeling is downright emasculating; a visceral castration  where all that’s left are a pair of dangling and withered testes between the legs - knees still  quivering.   
The icy queen is heartless and boundless.   She is unrestrained and unbounded from social norms and other social conventions.   For her, social conformity is a weakness.   She is the embodiment of self.
confidence.  She is the cerebral narcissist, the very angel of death in the flesh.  The goddess of damnation.  Murderess of the soul.   A master manipulator and con-artist.  She is the one that is loved, and loved deeply!
The Ice Queen is the perfect woman.  She is well-educated; well-spoken, and very cultured.   She has worldly and academic knowledge.   She makes the best wife candidate.  She is skilled in all the arts of seduction and deception.   God in flesh form.  An answer to all of our prayers.  A waiting to exhale moment.   The be all and end all.  Only in the beginning.
It all started with my ex. Alcoholic Japanese female velodrome  athlete with her massive and thick smooth legs and flawless skin standing over me, seemingly towering over me - creased epicanthic folds in her eyes.   
She's Stripped down to her panties and beating me and berating me over one grain of rice I let drop to the floor.  Get down on the ground!  Eat that rice off the floor.  Look up at me.  Epicanthic folds with black eyes piercing through them and deep into my soul. Sickly and hauntingly beautiful her flawless face is when she is enraged.  Creamy white skin with pulsating veins in the neck.   I can see her heart palpitating  through her sweat soaked jersey.  Cheek bones red and puffy.   I am in heaven.  The smell of  hot spit and vaginal musk permeating through the air and into my nostrils, slight tumescence in my penis; a reaction to fear and love.  Even her pubic hairs are long and fine, like woven silk protruding from the edges of her panties; some lain across her beautiful hamstrings still wet from the days ride.    I still collect them in hopes of weaving a kimono made of 100%  of her silky pubic hair.   A miracle of God, actually.   It is true.  Women from Niigata have long silky pubic hair - trust me.  Maybe make a silk pubic noose to hang myself from them.
I used to astral project into her through deep meditation.   All in hopes of tapping into her inner pussy, while dangling from her heart chakra.    The Cerebral Narcissist is very difficult to mentally hack, this is because they have spent years learning how to create firewalls in their minds.   Blocks that conceal their truest of self.   They use you for supply, and use your love against you.   The narcissist ice queen is disconnected from her pussy.  Her vagina serves as a tool used to deceive and manipulate.  To control and abuse.   Often times, actually most times, cerebral narcissist prefer masturbation to actual sex.    Actual sex requires reciprocity whereas masturbation you satisfy yourself, ten minutes tops.     Once they have secured their supply they lose complete interest in sex, then devote all of their time and energy to intellectual pursuits.  My ice bitch achieved  her Master’s before 25 years of age from a prestigious English speaking University overseas.   A research fellow.   She came to me in the form of an angel, more beautiful than Lucifer before the fall.
The Age of Aquarius is here.  Be forewarned my brothers.  You are warned.   The new dawn of mentally aware Japanese women are among us.   They are highly educated and purposed in life.   Totally void of love.  They seek to use and discard only to repeat the cycle again.  


Escaping back to my quiet place, in the womb of my desire.  A Jukujo saved me from destruction.  
  
Musical Score:  Sketches of the Dream

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